


Juno Steel And The Case Of Emotional Instability TM

by Cecil_G_P



Category: Juno Steel - Fandom, The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Reunion, Self Harm, do u ever post a chapter and realize its half the lenght u thought it was, hurt comfort eventually I hope, i dont actually know how to tag this, it was supposed to be hurt comfort but it ran away from me, scifi treatments dont work if you dont see a fucking therapist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:16:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9795869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cecil_G_P/pseuds/Cecil_G_P
Summary: As Peter’s eyes fall on Juno’s arms his heart plummets into his feet. Just above the crook of each elbow lie dozens upon dozens of parallel scars, as thin and straight as the razorblade that must have made them. Thankfully these look old. It’s clear it’s a habit Juno broke years ago.Thank fuck for that.3rd person,  but focuses on Peter's pov.





	1. Oasis Casino Resort

**Author's Note:**

> I'm getting back into writing fiction after years of writing just for school. Constructive criticism is appreciated. If I don't update quick enough just guilt trip me in the comments.

It’s not until the Oasis Casino Resort that Peter realizes he’s never seen Juno in short sleeves. And it's not difficult to see why. As they settle into bed for the night Juno’s shirtless and all his scars are on display and he’s clearly trying to seem blase about them. Peter takes the hint and pretends as if there is nothing of interest on Juno’s… everything.

At least not until after he falls asleep. 

Peter, careful not to wake him, examines the detective in great detail. There’s a lot of stories to be told he’s sure. Stories of cases and chases and misadventures and animal taming and fights. There’s a few worrisome ones that Peter would have taken for a particular bad interrogation if not for their age. These were old enough to have been inflicted in childhood…

But even as troublesome as those were they weren't the worst. As Peter’s eyes fall on Juno’s arms his heart plummets into his feet. Just above the crook of each elbow lie dozens upon dozens of parallel scars, as thin and straight as the razorblade that must have made them. Thankfully these look old as well. Not quite as old as the other worrisome ones. But still. It’s clear it’s a habit Juno broke years ago. 

Thank fuck for that.     

But even as he takes this bit of information in, his blood is still rushing in his ears and he has to struggle to keep his breathing even- it wouldn’t do to wake Juno now. 

There’s just… so many of them.

He has to wonder how this can even happen in this day and age. Modern mental health medicine was so much more competent than anything like those horror stories of the past. But then again it was said that one of the most dangerous factors of such an illness is that the afflicted often refuse to seek help. And Juno was nothing if not stubborn and isolated. Peter doubted he would touch a therapist with a ten foot pole. He wants to shake all of Juno’s self destruction right out of him and yell at him and hug him all at once but he keeps quiet. Confronting Juno about it now when he was already so suspicious of him would only cause him to close off more. And after all, the scars were old. 

So for now Peter lays back down with his stomach still turning, added this information to his mental file on Juno, and tried to get some sleep.

And if he pulls Juno close during the night it’s nothing but a subconscious reflex.


	2. Eye Of The Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place at the end of final resting place. We all know this scene from Juno's pov... but Peter's?

The next time Peter sees Juno shirtless is when they get back from the hospital. Juno refuses his offer to buy him a cybernetic eye as is typical of him. They climb in bed and even as Juno is promising to elope with him Peter has his doubts. But as stupid as he may be, he takes Juno’s word for it and allows himself to imagine their shared life among the stars. 

They’re lounging in bed and Peter is running his fingers across Juno’s chest. He traces one of the bigger scars there wondering about the story behind it and for once thinks if he asks he just might get an answer. But before he can think to do so that scar has led him to Juno’s shoulder where a zigzag scar takes over and snakes it’s way down his bicep. Peter follows it’s lines before he comes across the self inflicted scars that hide there. He freezes for a millisecond before he starts to trace these the same way he traced the others, trying not to make a big deal out of it out of respect for Juno. He sneaks a look at Juno’s face and he’s staring at Peter’s fingertips as they ghost across his scars. He looks caught up in memory but not unpleasantly so. If anything he almost seems wistful, Peter isn’t sure what to think of that.

He wants to ask about the scars. And he almost does. But the timing doesn't seem quite right. And Peter thinks that maybe he should wait until Juno’s ready to bring them up himself. With a sigh Juno snaps out of his reverie and notices Peter looking at him, he smiles softly and leans in until their foreheads are touching. It’s the most contact Juno’s ever initiated with him when not under duress. 

Peter takes pleasure in being on the receiving end of a kiss.

It only makes it all the more shocking to wake up to an empty bed.


	3. Messy Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Exposition's done! Finally there's dialog!

Peter hasn’t been to Mars in months. And he wouldn’t be back now if his best paying client hadn’t demanded of it of him. It hurts. Being back here. Peter had thought time had dulled the pain but it had only suppressed memories. Being back on Mars meant such memories were pushed to the forefront, and he had to face the realization that he hadn’t recovered at all. 

Juno had never even explained why he left. But it was clear that he didn’t want Peter in his life and therefore Peter was determined to keep all thoughts of Juno out of his. It was a nice idea, at least.

Walking down the street he was always afraid he’d run into Juno. It was silly. This was after all, a whole goddamn planet and Juno couldn’t be everywhere. It was statistically more probable that he wouldn’t run into him than would. 

But of course statistics didn’t account for the fact that Juno fled to trouble like a moth to a flame. 

And Peter was the definition of trouble.

It was just simple art theft. You see Peter’s client was obsessed with a certain postmodernist artist and just had to have the last few pieces of her collection which were oh so conveniently located on mars. But the museum had apparently heard of the rest of the collection being systematically stolen and hired some extra security. That security happened to be Juno.

Juno springs around the corner aiming his gun, but as soon as he catches sight of the intruder he stops cold and lowers his gun. 

“You’re the art thief?” Peter winces. Juno has no right to sound that shocked and betrayed after leaving like he did.

“I’m trying to be.” He bites back. “Now step aside Steel, my client won’t be pleased if I return empty handed.”  

“Not a chance Nureyev.” He stands his ground but keeps his gun pointed down. It’s just as well. He may have set it to stun but with only one good eye Peter was still nervous. 

He meets Juno’s gaze, determined not to let sentimentality keep him from a paycheck.

That’s the idea anyways.

In any other circumstance Peter would have made short work of any deterrents. But as it was, what should have been a fight just turned into a cold staring contest.

Juno breaks first.

“Fine,” he huffs out. “Just take it and get out of here.” 

This takes Peter by surprise, Juno has never been one to back down from a fight. But he’s looking to the ground and Peter can almost see the guilt creeping across his face before he turns away.

“I never saw you, got it. Just go.” Apparently Peter isn’t the only one avoiding old memories.

He nods curtly, recovering from his initial shock. “Right.” He walks by Juno before pausing for a minute to look back at him. As much as he wants to say something he can’t think of a single thing that won’t dissolve into a screaming match. He continues on his way.

Peter curses Juno’s pretty face as he gets caught by another guard. It was a stupid mistake really. He should have heard the guard coming a mile away. But he was too busy thinking about that damn detective to notice him. 

So here he was, getting knocked to the floor by a mindless goon that shouldn’t have even had the luxury of seeing his opponent. As his head collided with the floor and sharp ringing took over Peter had a mere second to wonder if he’s concussed before his knight in shining trenchcoat swept in to save him. Juno stunned the guard (Peter wondered if he had truly been aiming for the shoulder) and his head was being cradled in Juno’s lap as fingers deftly examined the head wound. 

“Shit. How’re you feeling Peter? Dizzy? Nauseous?”

“Uhhhhhh.” Peter tried to make his voice cooperate. Had Juno ever called him by his first name before? 

“Alright. Hold up.” Gently Juno eased him up and tried to support most of Peter’s weight as he stumbled along with him. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Your job….” Peter mumbled.

“Is done. You're the art theif right? It doesn't look like you’ll be stealing any paintings tonight.”

Juno eased Peter into his car and took off, asking Peter concussion related questions all the way. After the initial shock, Peter’s mind cleared right up and thankfully he didn’t need to go to the hospital. He was still surprised when they ended up at Juno’s apartment building.

“Just because you're not concussed enough to warrant hospital visit dosen’t mean you should spend the night alone Nureyev.”

“Steel. I am not concussed. And if this is an elaborate ruse to get me to spend the night you should know you've missed your chance.”

He scoffed. “I just don’t want to be the one responsible if you slip into a coma.”

They run out of casual banter by the time they get into Juno’s apartment. Sitting on the couch, awkwardly far from each other, they both stare at the television screen without bothering to turn it on. Neither of them like the streams anyways. 

“I’m sorry.” Juno blurts out. Looking over at him, Peter swears that Juno looks betrayed by his own mouth.

“For what?” Peter asks him, but before Juno’s confusion can be voiced he plows on. “For leaving? For breaking your promise? For not giving me an explanation? For saying you trust me and then breaking my trust in you? You’ll have to be a little more specific Juno.”

Juno looks rightfully ashamed. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh really? What did you think you were doing to me?”

“I don’t kn-”

“Save it Juno.”

“But I don’t know why I did it! Or at least why I didn’t explain it to you. I wanted to go with you. I wanted to leave Hyperion city. But I just can’t Peter.”

“Then why give me false hope?”

“Because I had false hope! I believed my lies too! Right up until I left!”

“Then why not at least stay and explain it to me?”

“Goddamn it Peter! I don’t fucking know!” He slumped back against the couch, a hand absentmindedly running against his upper arm. His next words were a whisper. “Do I fucking look like the kind of person who has any control of their own life?”

“That’s not an excuse and you know it.”

“Yeah.”

There was a heavy pause before Peter spoke again.

“I should go.” He stood to leave.

“Peter! Wait!”

“I’m not concussed and we both know it.” Peter couldn’t look him in the eye.

“No. I mean. I don’t know if I can explain why I left but maybe I can try? You deserve that much. At least.” 

Peter should just leave, anything else Juno said would only make things harder. But he was nothing if not curious.

“It won’t make up for anything.”

“Of course not… Leaving you the way I did, its one of my biggest regrets.”

“Then tell me why you did it.”

“I-” He starts. But he can’t seem to gets the words out. “You see…” His arms are crossed protectively over his chest and suddenly Juno seems a lot less sure of what he’s trying to say. “You know this makes a lot less sense now that I try to explain it to another person.”

Peter stares back at him flatly.

“Right… well here goes nothing. Look. Everyone thinks they’ve got the answer. That silver laser that promises they’ll be happy forever. But no one’s ever been happy forever. All those people chasing all those promises running full tilt towards all those paradises that never were and are never going to be, no matter how bad I- they want it, well, it makes a big mess.” His voice breaks a little and he’s blinking rapidly, desperately pretending like he’s not on the verge of crying. As angry as Peter is with Juno his heart squeezes unpleasantly at the sight.

“And I’m not going to be like them, naively reaching for what I can’t have. Happiness won’t ever stay. So why waste my time chasing it you know? I’ve got better things to do.”

“Oh Juno.” The words leave him like a sigh. As hurt as Peter still was he couldn’t help but feel a deep ache in his heart to hear Juno talk like this. He scooted closer to him and rested his arms on the top of the couch, not so close as to invade his personal space, but close enough to convey a silent invitation should the detective choose to take it. 

Juno only hesitated for a moment before sliding against Peter’s side. Peter instantly wrapped his arm around Juno and began running his hand up and down Juno’s arm comfortingly. He jumped slightly at the contact and Peter had the feeling this wasn’t typical human interaction for Juno. 

“Look. Juno. This doesn't make up for what happened.”

“I know.” He mumbled into Peter’s shoulder.

“But it does certainly change things.”

“....”

“And as mad as I am at you… call me a fool but I still care.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Sue me.”

Hours later they finally fall asleep sprawled across each other on the couch, Peter’s arms wrapped protectively around his detective, Juno’s face buried into Peter's shoulder. It’s the best either of them has slept in months.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How clear is it that I know nothing about concussions?


	4. Revelations But Not In A Religious Way

After Peter successfully delivers some stolen art for an outrageous amount of money he decides it’s time for a vacation. And while Hyperion city isn’t known for tourism it’s resident surly detective has Peter more than eager to return. 

It's not more than a week after that failed heist that Peter finds himself back in Juno’s apartment. Things are still a little awkward between them but it’s undeniably better than being planets away and pretending to hate each other. However Peter has begun noticing some disturbing trends in Juno’s behavior. 

For one Juno starts to rub at his upper arm whenever he’s particularly upset. It’s not a twitch Peter’s ever noticed in him before, but not particularly outlandish.

Second off he’s started wearing a shirt to bed. Long sleeved. It’s not like he wasn’t allowed to own pajamas, it’s just not the sort of thing one would expect someone like Juno to bother with. Peter assures himself its nothing.

Its when he grabs Juno’s arm and he flinches that Peter starts to get… suspicious. 

Over the next week he analyzes Juno’s behavior. He doesn't want to be right. Doesn’t want to think about the implications, about how long this might have been going on, about the reasons, about how he might have to confront Juno. So he sits back and observes. The flinches, all the long sleeves, even when Peter’s been promoted from couch guest to bed guest- he never sees Juno shirtless. And he’s been acting a little subdued. Initially Peter chalked it up to their messy reunion but with all the other evidence...

He’s almost certain.

Juno’s self harming again.

And it makes him sick to his stomach. A habit that was years old, brought back to life by… whatever the hell was going through Juno’s head that one fateful night. Or maybe by Miasma’s torture. Peter hopes to hell it’s the later because if it is then he can hunt down and kill every single one of Miasma’s agents that made it out alive. Not that that would help Juno. Because as much as he wouldn’t want to admit it, the fact that Juno could resort to something like this meant he was deeply and truly sick and that Peter might have to drag him kicking and screaming to a therapist’s office. Best case scenario he could be prescribed a medicine and Peter would happily pay for every single bottle. More likely he was going to have to go to therapy. Worst case scenario- and unfortunately the most likely- Juno would absolutely refuse to go and Peter would have to play psychiatrist for him. Not that he wouldn’t if it came down to it, but he was no professional, and not in the habit of talking about feelings.   

But Jesus how was he even going to bring this up. 

As it turned out he wouldn’t have to.

He’s helping Juno out with a case when an assailant happens to bury a knife deep in Juno’s arm. Peter makes quick work of the attacker before he just about throws himself on top of Juno and pulls the knife out. Before Juno can even finish protesting Peter’s rolled his sleeve up to asses the damage.

He sucks in a sharp breath. Last time he had seen Juno’s scars they had only been on his upper arms. Now the wounds spill onto the forearm looking ugly and a week old tops. The detective tries to yank his arm away. 

_ “I said it’s fine Nureyev!” _

But he just tightens his grip. Some of them had been reopened by the stabbing. But right now, Peter reminds himself, he has to bandage the stab wound. So he tries to mask his emotions best he can (not well at all) and starts to wrap the injury. He also wraps some of the reopened scars for good measure. After he’s done he looks up at Juno who’s been watching him warily the whole time. But suddenly the detective can’t look him in the eye. He rubs his neck with one hand (The other is still trapped in Peters).

“You didn’t kill that poor bastard did you?” He motions to the prone assailant.

“They're just unconscious.” His eyes never leave Juno’s face. “You should get this looked at by an actual doctor.” 

“It’s not that big. I’ll be fine.” He still won’t meet Peter’s eyes.

“Juno-”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” He finally pulls his arm back and rolls the sleeve down.

“Which part? Not wanting to visit the hospital for a  _ stabbing _ ? Or the fact that you've been slicing up your arm?” 

Juno flinches and Peter instantly regrets his choice of words.

“None of it Nureyev.” He moves to stand up. “Let’s throw this fucker in jail.”


	5. Put That Concern Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me an autobiography by juno steel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating so often that I feel it's setting an unfortunate precedent and when I finally run out of steam and update slowly yall are gonna hate me.

He couldn’t talk Juno into getting his stab wound looked at by a professional. 

“Nureyev. I can treat it myself. It’s fine.”

“Can’t you at least let  _ me _ look at it? Honestly Juno. I know it’s not easy to bandage one’s own arm.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t do it.”

“And just because you can do it doesn’t mean you have to do it.” Peter sighed, running a hand over his face. “What’s this really about Juno? Do you not want me to see your… arm again?”

Juno’s jaw tightened and Peter could almost feel him get tense and close up. “No.” He winced at the crack in his voice. “It’s just not necessary.”

It was totally why.

“Can you let me do it for you anyways? It would make me feel better to know firsthand that it’s not infected.”

If Juno wanted to dance around the subject then Peter could do the goddamn tango. But he was still going to get his way today. As much as he wanted to confront Juno about the scars, it was more immediately necessary that the new and reopened injuries were treated properly. And despite the detective’s claims, Peter didn’t entirely trust him to do so.

“I won’t make you talk about anything you don’t want to” … _tonight_ _anyways_. He thought to himself. This caught Juno off guard, and he looked at Peter suspiciously.

“Fine.” He finally bit out, clearly exasperated with the situation but also aware that he wasn’t going to get a better compromise.

As he cleaned Juno’s arm he tried to get a better look at the self inflicted cuts without the hazy panic that had clouded his mind earlier. 

For the most part they were clinically straight and horizontal, running up his arm like a ladder. The upper arm was worse because of the older scars- it seemed that Juno had resorted to the forearm simply out of lack of space. And this was only what was visible on  _ one _ arm, but Peter knew there was no way Juno was letting him look at the other tonight. 

There were also a few scars here and there that broke the neat pattern and looked jagged and significantly deeper than the others. These seemed months older than the rest and were in no danger of reopening (not that that made Peter feel any better). He wondered if they were from the night he left. 

As soon as he was done bandaging the wounds back up Juno quickly pulled his sleeve back down, uncomfortable with the scrutiny.  

“Juno…”

“You said no talking.” He tried to snap at him, but his voice was too soft to carry any bite.

“No. I know… It’s just. I know everything’s weird right now but…”

“What?”

“Just because I’m upset about how you left… it doesn’t mean... you know I still love you right?”

Juno snorted at that. “Yeah. I’m a fool for you too, you sentimental dork. Can we go to sleep now?”

Now it’s Peter’s turn to laugh. “Of course love.” His voice is still laced with concern but Juno doesn't comment on it as they lay down and Peter pulls him in, spooning him comfortably. 

Surprisingly Juno doesn’t object to the next few times Peter asks to treat his injuries. They’re healing nicely and Juno doesn’t seem to have added to his collection of scars since. 

At least not on this arm. He frowns at the thought as he finishes looking at wounds. 

“Juno…” 

“Hmm?” He puts down his mug of coffee. Absently Peter wondered if he’d be mad if he threw out the synthetic coffee and replaced it with premium.

“Can I… see your other arm?” He tenses, as expected but doesn't pull away quite yet.

“I only got stabbed on the one Peter.” 

“I know but…” Juno’s glowering at him. Almost as if he’s daring him to say it. “I’d like to see the rest of your scars.”

“You said you weren’t going to make me talk about it.”

“And you don’t have to!” He throws his hands up in a placating gesture. “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to but…”

“But you're going to make me do it anyways.”

“I just want to be sure there’s nothing to worry about. You don’t have to talk about anything… unless you think there  _ is _ something to talk about.”

“You don’t have to worry.” He bit the words out one at a time.

“Well could you let me make sure?”

“No. I mean you don’t have to worry about me at all. Period. I’m an adult and I can take care of myself.” 

“First off, this” he gestured to the scarred arm he’s still holding, “is not what I would call ‘taking care of yourself.’ And second off, I’m going to worry about you anyways because that’s what humans who like one another do and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“And making me talk is going to help how?”

“I’m not making you talk! I just want to look at your arm. You're the one that’s talking. Clever evasionary topic by the way but it’s not going to work.” Never mind that the fact that Juno was trying to hide something from him was tying his stomach in knots.

“While what if I say no!” He finally yanked his arm back firmly shoving his sleeve down. “What then?”

Peter was stunned into a rare moment of silence.

“Well… Juno. If you truly don’t want to then, well, I stand by my word I won’t _ make  _ you do anything.”

“But you're just going to what? Nag me about it?”

“You can’t blame me for being worried Juno.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about. I’ve got it under control.”

“The fact that it’s happening at all is proof that that’s not true.”

_ “What the hell would you understand about any of this?” _ It's a shout, and the volume alone shuts Peter up.  _ “You said you wouldn’t make me talk about this so we’re not. End of discussion.”  _

He stalks away, leaving Peter who’s almost shaking in anger.The front door slams and for the first time in a while Peter is truly alone. 

_ Why can’t that idiot just let me help him. _ Is the first coherent thought that runs through his head. The next is  _ maybe I should just hide all his long sleeves _ . But that would break the “I won’t force you into anything” promise. Besides he wasn’t even sure Juno owned anything else. Hiding potential weapons or tools was just as useless.   _ But maybe if I can create an adequate reason for him to take his shirt off in front of me… _ That thought sounded way too manipulative, too much like Mags. He couldn’t manipulate Juno into anything. It wasn’t right. But how the hell could he make him see reason? Preferably before this killed him.


	6. Second Hand Retail Therapy And Bad Scene Transitions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would actually really appreciate comments even if they're along the lines of 'this bitch sucks' I get that not everybody wants to say shit and thats fine but I also like validation tm and advice if you could

He’s walking around the snootier side of Hyperion City, the money from his last heist burning a hole in his pocket.  _ What does Juno like?  _ Besides booze that is. His apartment was barely functional and as far as he knew Juno didn’t really have hobbies outside of his work. That probably wasn’t healthy.  _ Hmmmmm that synthetic coffee he drinks every morning is truly awful.  _

As much as Peter wanted to get mad and yell at Juno he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere except maybe thrown out. So he was switching tactics. Maybe Juno didn’t personally engage in retail therapy but Peter was more than happy to do it for him. Here’s to hoping this wouldn’t just make Juno more mad at him.

By the time he got back Peter had chucked out all the synth coffee, the old pillows on his bead, and even his hair products and replaced them with high end versions. Not that he noticed right away. He stumbles into his bedroom and is about to collapse on the bed when he notices significantly fluffier pillows there.

“Ummmm Peter? What happened to my pillows?” 

“They’re in the garbage dear, they probably could have been classified as an environmental hazard.” 

“What? They weren’t that bad!” 

“Your lack of standards continues to astound me. Besides I wanted to get you something to… apologize for before.”

His lips twitch. “So this is bribery?”

“No! I mean what I said when I promised you didn’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. And I want to apologize for trying to get you to do so.”

“Hey I was just joking! Alright. Fine. But no more replacing my stuff.”

Peter pursed his lips together. “That’s one thing I can’t promise.”

“Goddammit. Did you replace something else?”

“Whatever makes you say that?”

“Ugh. You’re impossible. I’m going to sleep.”

Peter hesitated in the doorway for a second before he Juno cracked an eye open. He heaved a deep sigh.

“Come on I’m not gonna make you sleep on the couch.”

He finally made his way to the bed. “I thought you’d still be mad at me.”

“I kind of am. But… I was being a dick too. It’s not like anyone would take that kind of information well.”

“Ohhh Juno dear was that an almost apology I heard?”

“Shut it.” He shoves him lightly but he's grinning. “You’re not getting a real one.”

“Hmmmmm I think I can live with that.” He lies on his back with his arms spread out. Juno rests his head on his shoulder. “You know,” he buries his nose in the detective’s hair, “I’m still worried.”

There's a heavy pause after that.

“I know.” He swallows thickly. “I wish you weren’t.”

“I just… want to help.”

“Let’s talk about something else Peter.”

His arm curls around Juno’s waist. “You’ve been calling me Peter a lot more lately.”

“It’s your name isn’t it?”

“Yes but not one I hear often. It's… nice.”

They pass the time with pleasantly meaningless conversation before Juno finally drifts off. Peter sighs, enveloping him in a hug and tries to do the same. 

The next morning Juno takes one sip of his coffee before he realizes that it's not his coffee.

“Dammit Peter did you replace my coffee too?”

“That synthetic stuff you buy is awful and you know it.”

It's a testament to said awfulness that Juno barely puts up a fight this time. “Can’t argue with that.” He takes another sip of precious real coffee. “But seriously, stop buying me stuff. ‘s weird.” 

“Are the words ‘thank you’ simply not in your vocabulary?”

“Nope.”

Juno’s phone rings and Peter goes back to fixing himself a coffee well he picks up.

“Alright Rita. See you in half an hour.” The phone clicks off.

“Another case today?”

“Nah, just gonna do some paperwork at the office and hope another client comes in.”

“Do you mind if I tag along? There’s not much to do in casa Juno when you're not here.”

“Sure. Whatever. But I doubt there’ll be anything at the office either.”

Juno’s still pretending to be annoyed about the new hair products by the time they reach the office. “How much of my goddamn stuff did you replace?”

“You’ve found the last of it actually.” A sharp grin flashes across his face. “For now.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Always dear.”

The next few weeks are tense for Peter. Things are quickly smoothed over with Juno but the prickly detective still won’t open up to him and whenever Peter so much as a says a word about Juno’s issues he quickly clams up about it. They’re back to tip-toeing around the subject out of fear of another argument. Peter joins Juno on cases and steals a little on the side. Nothing major. Nothing that would get him caught or run out of Hyperion City anyways. Life returns to some semblance of normal.

The frustration is killing him. 

He’s become clingy. It’s no use trying to remove potential self harm tools from the house when Juno could just go out and buy more, but he tries to always keep Juno in earshot when home and almost always joins him when he leaves the house. He’s sure Juno’s noticed but hopes it’s chalked up to anxiety over how he left all those months ago. He continues to treat Juno’s stab wound, but Juno’s beginning to protest saying it’s healed enough to leave alone. He still won’t show him his other arm. Peter knows he’s caught him staring. At night Peter has to talk himself out of rolling up Juno’s sleeves and checking for himself.  _ It wouldn’t do any good. He He’s almost definitely self harming and getting my proof this way will only make him angrier and more closed off.  _

Sooner or later something has to break. He knows that. If only that something wasn’t Juno.


	7. As Close As I've Been Able To Get To A Serious Chapter Title Since Like Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I know you know this story is about self harm but given that you haven't actually seen much more than scars in this story so far I figured I'd give an extra heads up for this chapter. This chapter has extra warnings for blood, and the aftermath of a drunken episode. (I'm super bad at tags and warnings and descriptions I'm sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for editing this chapter like the day after posting it but it just really isn't my best work and I think I posted it before it was really finished.  
> ALSO holy fuck the murderous mask update is the best thing thats happened this year. Juno trying to climb out that fucking window- ridiculous but also exactly what I would do in that situation. Juno getting really defensive of Rita! The kanagawa guards were specified to be really beefy woman (im such a lesbian???). Juno interrogates Cassandra while Peter does weird shit to the mask in the background!!! Peter and the occult: I love this?????? Juno saying he doesn't like psychiatrists (ha i got something right) and then like 10 seconds later basically tells this stranger that his mother was abusive. THE SWELLING ROMANIC MUSIC AS JUNO TRIES TO CLIMB OUT A WINDOW "And what does Rex mean?" "Juno look at me." Im freaking the fuck out. Rant done.

Peter gets back one night after selling his stolen trinkets on Hyperion City’s black market. The first thing he notices when he gets home is the empty bottle of whisky next to an open bottle of vodka. He feels his expression strain but tries to keep his voice casual as he calls out.

“Started without me dear? That’s no way to party.” Juno’s no stranger to alcoholism, Peter knows that. But he hasn’t personally seen Juno on a bender before and isn’t sure what to expect.

“...” There’s no response.

“Juno?”

It’s a small apartment, the living room and kitchen are both visible from the doorway and Juno’s nowhere in sight. A few steps later and he’s throwing open the bedroom door that had no adequate reason to be closed. The room is dark and empty. Before Peter can even begin to contemplate where a drunk Juno might stumble off to he notices light seeping under the bathroom door.

“Juno.” He knocks sharply on the door. “Open the door, you don’t want to get alcohol poisoning without me do you?” He tries not to think of other… possible reasons as to why he’s in there. It’s dead silent, not even the sound of a person moving around. “Juno if you don’t say something to indicate you're conscious right now i’m coming in.” Still nothing. He tries the door. It’s locked but it’s not like that’s ever something that stopped Peter. Especially now. With his heart in his throat he picks the lock in a matter of seconds.

There’s nothing that could've prepared him for the scene he found inside. Juno’s slumped against the tub with a razor in his limp hand. For the first time in months Peter sees Juno shirtless. While one arm is untouched and familiar, the unseen arm is absolutely ravaged with scars, clearly having taken the brunt of the abuse after Peter started checking up on the other. The newest among these are several deep ragged cuts that was undeniably inflicted in Juno’s drunken state. There’s so much blood.

Peter’s deep seated survival instincts kick in hard and he’s on his knees before he can even blink. He’s using Juno’s discarded shirt to wrap his arm and yelling at him all the while.

“DAMNIT JUNO! JUNO WAKE UP! CAN YOU HEAR ME JUNO! YOU NEED TO WAKE UP NOW!” After wrapping the arm best he could he shakes Juno hard, his eyes flutter open for a moment and mumbles something soft and unintelligible.  He taps Juno’s face. _“Listen to me Juno you need to stay awake.”_ There’s little response other than a few flinches. _“Shit.”_ He’s calling an ambulance before he finishes the word.

A few hours later and he’s curled up with his detective in a hospital bed. Juno hasn’t woken up yet and technically Peter isn’t supposed to be in the room but the nurse was sympathetic when he told her they were dating. It’s a little awkward, hospital beds aren’t meant for two people and Peter’s doing everything he can not to jostle Juno’s heavily bandaged arm but he makes it work. _This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have given him so much space I should have pushed harder to see his arm I shouldn’t have avoided arguments at the sake of his health I shoul-_

“That’s a bad look in your eyes hon.”

Peter nearly jumps two feet in the air, he hadn’t even noticed the doctor come in. She chuckles at him.

“Not that I can blame you. Anybody would be shaken to find a loved one like this.”

Peter just blinks at her.

She moves around the room and checks some monitors. “He’s lost a lot of blood but he’ll be alright…. Physically at least.” Peter nods at that. He’d been keeping tabs on the monitors himself. “It’s a miracle you found him when you did though. Your quick thinking is what saved him.”

_Quick thinking. No. Quick thinking would have prevented this. Quick thinking would have found a way to get Juno to talk weeks ago._

“There’s that look again.” The doctor meets his eyes, appraising him. “This isn’t your fault. You hear?”

“But I-”

“No. It’s. Not. Your. Fault.” She jabs a finger in his chest. “Your boyfriend here-”

“He’s my girlfriend actually.”

“Your girlfriend here is real sick And while I’m sure you did your best to help, this is the kind of illness that needs professional help. Don’t go blaming yourself.”

“He won’t get help. He won’t even talk about it.” Peter’s voice is hushed. “I’ve been trying to get him to talk for weeks but he just closes me off. I stopped bringing it up just to avoid fights. _I should have insisted he see someone I should have-”_

The doctor sighed, cutting him off. “Hon. You're not helping anybody by thinking like that. We’ll have the psychologist talk to him before he leaves and set up some appointments. If you want to help then you’ll stop beating yourself up and encourage him to keep those appointments. Maybe go to a few with him. You did what you could.”

It’s nearly an hour after that conversation with the doctor that Juno starts to wake up. He groans, waking Peter from a slight doze.

“Don’t move too much Juno. It’ll hurt more. ” He gently brushes Juno's hair back from his face.

“What? Peter? Where? What?” He tries to push against Peter only to flinch at the deep sting in his arm. He looks down at his arm and see the bandages there, he looks up sharply, taking in his surroundings. _“Shit.”_ He falls back against Peter, face burning and pushed into Peter’s collarbone. “I can explain.”

“You don’t have to right now.” He sighs and pets Juno’s hair, the detective leans into the touch making Peter's heart melt. “But this is one conversation you’re not getting out of this one.” Juno buries himself deeper into Peter who tries desperately to comfort him, running his hand up and down his back and through his hair. A shudder runs through the detective.

“Peter I’m _so sorry._ ” The guilt in Juno’s voice shatters him, echoing in his chest as a physical ache. As much as he wants to be angry with Juno -as easier as it was to be angry with him- he can't find it in himself to feel so with him. He tucks Juno's head under his own.

“Hush dear. This- this isn’t- it’s not your fault Juno. I wish you would have told me. I wish you would have let me help you. But this is not your fault. And it’s not something you need to apologize for.” Peter tightens one arm around his waist, pulling him as close to as is physically possible, the other arm continues to stroke him. Juno makes a strangled sounding noise and wraps his own arms around Peter who utters a wordless huff of disapproval and moves Juno's injured arm so there's no stress on it. "

They pass another hour or so like this. Juno's basically on top of Peter, one arm wrapped around his waist. Peter's own arms wrapped around Juno protectively. This is how the doctor finds them when she comes back in to check on Juno. Her eyes light up when she sees Juno’s awake.

“Hey hon. How're you feeling?” Juno’s obviously uncomfortable as he mumbles out a quick ‘alright.’ She doesn't comment on the obvious lie but Peter can see her expression fall a little.

“You’re real lucky you’re boyfriend found you when he did. You lost a lot of blood.”

He only nods in response to that one.

She sighs, not unkindly. “I know this is no fun but the minimum hospitalization time for a suicide attempt is 24 hours and you’ll have to speak with a psychologist to determine if you need to stay longer.”

“Wasn’t a suicide attempt.”

“Yeah, well, close enough. We can’t let you leave until the psychologist clears it. And you’ll be expected to make a few follow up appointments, but you're boyfriend here will help you out with those won’t you dear?” She looks as Peter in the eyes.

“Of course.” He looks pointedly at Juno who just fidgets in his arms and avoids all eye contact.

She makes a few more notes in her clipboard. “Also i'm afraid visiting hours end at six, you’ll need to be out of here by then.” She clicks her pen at Peter.

“What? There’s no way I’m leaving him now!”

“Rules are rules hon. You can come visit again starting at 6 in the morning.”

“They let me stay last night!”

“Yes, because Steel was still in critical. That was an exception. One we can’t make anymore.”    

“This is ridiculous! I can’t leave him alone!”

“Relax. He’ll be under constant surveillance the whole time.”

_“That’s not-”_

“Peter it’s fine.” 

“What? Juno it’s n-”

“Yes it is. Go home. Relax a little. Come back in the morning. I’ll be fine. Promise.”

“But Juno…”

“I’m not a kid Nu- Peter. I can handle a night alone in a hospital.” He doesn't like the way he says that. It feels like false bravado and self depreciation but maybe Peter’s just reading too much into things. Still… he doesn't like the idea of leaving Juno alone like this. And maybe he himself is a little afraid to go back to that blood spattered apartment alone.

“If you’re sure dear.” Even as he says it he tightens his arms around him in silent protest.

“Positive.”


	8. The Juno Steel Pity Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I had time to work on this! So. Many. School. Projects.

He stumbles back into Juno’s empty apartment. The lights are all still on and the open bottles on the coffee table serve as an instant reminder. At a loss of other things to do Peter starts to clean up. Chucking the whisky bottle he considers doing the same to the vodka but it’s not like Juno couldn’t just go out and buy another whenever he wants. And he might need it for himself tonight. It’s not that blood makes him squeamish, it hasn’t since way back when he was a teen and Mags got a little less… protective. No the reason why this blood has his stomach churning is that it’s Juno’s. And that the wounds this blood was from were self inflicted. And Peter knew. And Peter couldn't help. And- 

He broke off that train of thought with a sip of vodka. The doctor  _ had  _ told him to stop thinking like that, though she probably wouldn’t approve of his methods… He grabs some cleaning supplies and hauls it to the blood spattered bathroom. Maybe the combination of alcohol and busy work would help the night pass faster. It’s not like he was going to get any sleep, and the longer he left this mess the worse it would get. Just like the mess in Juno’s head. 

A half hour of scrubbing and a slight vodka buzz later had him without anything left to do. Pacing the length of the bedroom, the worry once again hit him full force. Juno’s hospitalized and in god knows what kind of mental state and yes the doctor said he’d be monitored all night but was this an actual person doing the monitoring or a medical drone? Would a medical drone report concerning behavior fast enough? Would a nurse even be able to stop him if he made a run for it? Peter quickly flipped out his phone to text Juno. 

A few seconds later he heard a buzz from the night table. He yanked the drawer open and grabbing the phone he wondered vaguely if the hospital would let him drop it off. Visiting hours were over but this was important after all and he could just drop it off quickly. There wasn’t even a real reason for him to enter the room, it could be given to the secretary.

But where was the fun in that.

And while Juno had claimed he was fine spending the night alone… 

He’s thrown on some stealthier clothing and is out the door before rationality can kick in and tell him this is a stupid semi-drunken idea.

Juno’s room is only on third floor thank god. But it’s going to be a combination of seer luck and dark clothing that nobody sees him scaling the hospital’s wall. Reaching Juno’s room he puts a small device on the window to nix its alarm and pulls out a pocket knife to slice the lock open. He peeks through the window at Juno who’s staring at the window in absolute shock. Peter puts a finger to his lips and wiggles his eyebrows. He throws another device at the security cam in the room to keep it’s feed looping for a little while before hoisting himself through the window. 

“Hello Juno darling! I hope you don’t mind me dropping by. Oh no no don’t get up you're still hooked up to a couple monitors.”

“Peter what the hell?”

“I figured you might need your phone,” he pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to a still baffled Juno, “and well, maybe a little company.”

“You can’t stay for that long! The nurse comes in every so often to check on me. And again,  _ what the hell. _ You could of dropped the phone off at the front desk.”

“What’s the fun in that?” 

“Not having to climb through the window?”

“It’s only the third floor. And besides I wanted to… make sure you were-”

“I said I’d be  _ fine. _ ”

“Yes, well, I don’t think your the best judge of that these days.” He sits on the bed and smoothes back Juno’s hair the way he won’t admit he likes, the detective unconsciously leans into the touch.      

“Look, it’s not like I could do anything on suicide watch anyways.” 

“And would you be doing something? If not for that?” 

Juno cringes inward. “That’s not what I said.”

“Yes, that  _ is _ why I asked for clarification.” Hands cupping Juno’s face, he tilts it upwards and kisses him on the forehead. His next words come out as a whisper. “Please. Just tell me the truth.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. But probably not.” 

“Oh Juno.” He slips his arms around Juno’s waist in a tight hug, resting his chin on his shoulder. Juno sighs and returns the gesture.

“I’ll be alright for the night. Promise. Just get out of here before you get caught you dork.”

He gives him one last squeeze before releasing him and gives him a quick peck on the lips. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Yes  _ dear. _ ” His voice is dripping with sarcasm but it lacks bite. Peter laughs a little at it before taking his anti-security devices and slipping back out the window.

He’s released the next day. But not until after a psychiatric evaluation and the insistence at making a couple follow up appointments.  Juno tries to slide out of those- they’re not mandatory after all- but Peter stares him down until he makes one and promises to see how it’ll go.

“I’m telling you Peter. Psychiatrists are just creeps who overcharge.” He swings his legs over Peter’s lap as they lounge on the couch back home.

“And I’m telling you they’re professionals. And don’t worry about getting overcharged, I’ll take care of it.”

“No. Peter. You don’t have to-”

“Yes I do apparently.” Juno leans away at the ice in Peter’s voice, not that he can go far with how tightly Peter’s gripping his arm. “Someone has to make sure you’re not going to-” He breaks off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t apologize.” His voice is heavy with poorly hidden guilt. “You’ve been doing everything you can, and I keep pushing you away like the idiot I am. I just, I didn’t want you to worry.”

“ _ The fact that you don’t tell me anything worries me more. _ I don’t want to fight with you but we can’t not talk to each other Juno. Not anymore. I can’t handle not knowing anymore. What you did the other night. That scared me more than anything else in my life.”

“I’m so sorry Peter. It was an accident. I should have known better than to get so drunk and cut so deep and”

“Stop blaming yourself. Stop throwing the Juno Steel Pity Party. Only I’m allowed to throw the Juno Steel Pity Party.”   

He’s struggling to hide his laughter. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?”

“You do it all wrong. Too much self-blame and too little self-help. The way you do it just makes things worse up there.” He taps Juno’s forehead lightly. His eyes are still sharp, but he’s grinning too. “Let me the party planner for a while okay?” 

“Can I at least bring the chips?”

“Only if they’re the healthy communication flavored kind.”

“Noted.”

“While we’re still planning the party, I think I have a few conversation starters we can use. Could I run them by you?”

Juno signs and adverts his eyes. “What are they?”

Peter hesitates for a moment, caught off guard by the lack of resistance. “Why do you do it?” His voice was nearly a whisper.

Juno swallows thickly. “I don’t really know anymore.” Peter gives him a look. “I don’t! Honest! It’s just something I feel the need to do. Like a habit almost.”

“Did the psychiatrist have any ideas? What did you two-”

“Nah. We didn’t get to that yet. The first eval was mostly about making sure I wasn’t about to off myself as soon as I left and talking me into making more appointments. Apparently diagnoses take time.”

“And you're going to go to them _ right _ ?”

Juno sighed, clearly exasperated. “Fine.”

“Honestly Juno I don’t understand why you’re so resistant to this. They’re professionals. They can help.”

A pained look crosses his face but before Peter can examine it closer he curls himself against Peter’s side. “Whatever” he mumbles into his shoulder.

“Juno dear?”  Reflexively he curls his arm around the detective.

“I don’t know why you put up with me.”

“What?”

“I fucking left you without so much as a note and yet you're here and helping me and I haven’t even done anything to make up for what I did to you yet.”

“Where is this coming from? I’m not going to stop caring about you and the things that endanger your _ life  _ just because you were left. And besides. I’ve already forgiven you for that.”

“What the hell? Why? All I gave you was one shitty apology!” He pulls back to glare at Peter in confusion and shock.

“First off apologies and forgiveness isn’t something that’s bartered. You don’t have to make an apology equal to your mistake in order to trade it for forgiveness. You were sincere and that’s what mattered.“ He kisses the tip of Juno’s nose before continuing. “And besides. It was clear from what you told me that you leaving was never intended to hurt me. It wasn’t even necessarily about me. I get that now. And it concerned me, your reason. Do you truly believe happiness isn’t worth chasing?”

Maybe he overdid it a little, Juno looks so thrown by his little spiel. But no. If it got the message through his goddamned skull that Peter  _ forgave him _ then it was worth it.

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish before being able to respond. “It’s not that it isn’t worth anything. Happiness that is. It’s just that it won’t stay, so why get my hopes up? You know?”

Peter sighed at that. “Personally I subscribe to the philosophy of  _ of course it won’t last forever that’s why I’ll take what can I get. _ ”

“Heh. Even in philosophy you’re quite the thief.”

“Always.”

“I think this party’s gone a little off the rails. Do you want to order takeout?”

“On the contrary I think we've only just gotten started. But we can pick this up another time I suppose.”

“There’s no getting you to stop this is there?”

Peter just pulls him a little closer and shakes his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. The next chapter's probably going to take a while longer. I know the general direction I want this fic to go in but this chapter kinda finished the first arc of the story and I'm having trouble staring the second arc. It's coming tho. Don't worry. (famous last words am I right?)


	9. In Which It Took The Author 5 Months To Write Another Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really don't have an explanation. Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long.

It’s a little scary how quickly things go back to normal. Peter used to tease Juno for being such a bad liar but now he’s seeing how much Juno lies everyday just to pretend things are fine. Peter does his best not to let him. Every morning when they wake up Peter takes a moment to tune into Juno’s bodylanguage a little better. He rolls over to hug him when he wakes up and tries to note how tense Juno is that morning. He asks him what he wants for breakfast and pays close attention to his tone and how much he eats. He’s hesitant when Juno insists on going back to work so soon but simply resolves to stay close by him and make sure he doesn’t do anything to aggravate the injuries more. At the end of every day he checks Juno again anyways, for new injuries, reopened, and self inflicted ones. The detective doesn’t seem to have added to the repertoire of scars yet but it’s only been a week. 

He still doesn’t want to push Juno to talk but, frankly, he’s putting his foot down. Enough is enough. When Juno’s minute tells ring alarm bells he drags him to the couch or the bed to snuggle and asks Juno to _ please, please, talk to him. _ And Juno surprisingly, well he hasn’t opened up all the way, but he’s trying. It’s the night before the therapy appointment, and they’re curled up together in bed. Juno’s lying flat on his back and Peter’s nearly on top of him. He’s lying diagonally across him chest, to chest, legs off to the side, head smooshed into the space between Juno’s neck and shoulder, arms coming up to pillow the detective’s head. Juno’s arms are loosely curled around Peter’s waist, tracing patterns onto his sides so light it almost tickles, but not quite. It’s nice.

“You’ve been very quiet today, love.”

Juno sighs into the side of Peter’s head. “Yeah.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Not really but…” He gives a sigh and squeezes Peter a little tighter. “I’ve never been to a therapist before.”

“Yes. You’ve mentioned.”

“And I know you’ve asked me why and I’ve never really answered. Jesus, I don’t know, but between being kinda broke, knowing things I shouldn’t, and the frequency at which telling people things about myself has ended badly- it’s just a little hard to envision myself talking to a complete stranger, hell it’s hard enough to talk to you.”

“I could see how that would… be a problem.”

“Yeah…” He sighs again.

“Well, I don’t know what can be done about knowing things you shouldn’t but as for your difficulty in talking to people… maybe a neutral party will make things easier? Part of a therapist’s job is not to make things between them and the patient personal, perhaps that will eliminate some of the risk that usually comes with talking?”

“Maybe. It still makes my skin crawl, though.”

 

*************************************************************************************************************

 

Despite his reservations Juno does go to therapy the next day. Peter goes with him -to make sure he won’t chicken out last minute- and waits in a coffee shop nearby. He barely feels the scorching heat of the coffee as he opens his laptop and begins planning. Between the reunion and Juno’s mental health he hasn’t had much time to think practically lately. But now… he had never completed the job he had been hired to do. Hadn’t even contacted his buyer. Who knows if the man thought he was dead or arrested or what. But more importantly he didn’t have the profit he expected to make from the theft. It wasn’t an issue yet, after all Peter specialized in stealing the extremely valuable, however, due to the nature of his work, he couldn’t exactly keep a regular bank account. Some of his identities had accounts of course, but none here on mars. He’d have to open one. And while he did have money stashed in various accounts they were never intended to be long term savings, his lifestyle involved nice hotels and nicer suits and dresses- and now Juno’s therapy. 

He would need to complete another heist by the end of the year if he wanted to maintain his lifestyle. He couldn’t exactly leave Juno now but he had already stirred up trouble twice on mars, if he attempted anything now and anyone had any idea it was him he would have to leave the planet. Maybe several smaller thefts of already stolen items would suffice. He frowned and tapped away at his computer, researching any recently lost or stolen goods.

 

*************************************************************************************************************

 

“How’d it go, dear?”

Juno made a noncommittal grunt and slid into the driver's seat. 

“Eloquent as always dear.” He observed the detective who focused a little too much on the process of driving. He didn’t seem particularly low or angry… just tired. The ride back was quiet. “Are you feeling alright?”

He sighed. “Yeah, it’s just, there’s a lot to get through, you know.” 

“Is the therapist nice?”

Juno huffed, a dry sounding laugh. “Well, she’s determined to do her job. Not much else to it. It’s probably a good thing, neutral party, like you said.”

Juno’s oddly silent for the rest of the day, but it doesn't seem to be a bad silence so Peter doesn’t pry. Besides, he’s got some work to do. There’s no shortage of stolen goods on mars and he nearly falls asleep with his laptop open on his chest until Juno drags him to bed.


	10. Not A Real Chapter, But a Thank You (And an Explanation)

Hey so I know this fic hasn't been updated in like 6 months or whatever and I just wanted to explain that. People comment on this a lot and the comments really mean a lot to me and I don't really know how to respond to each of them individually so I'm gonna say it here:

Thanks! I really do get excited whenever I get a new comment! I'm sorry I've been so bad about replying recently!

I really do want to finish this fic but I just don't know how. I have an outline but the things I've outlined I realized I don't really know how to write about and it's compounded by the fact that this fic got really personal really fast. And you can skip this next part if but just in case I never do finish this fic you should know that I (predictably) have always intended for this fic to end happy, and with a form of recovery, and specifically I wanted it to end with Juno having recovered enough so that when Peter's next heist calls he goes to it knowing that Juno will still be okay when he returns to Mars, because having your life dominated by your own or someone else's mental illness isn't cool ya'll, but helping ppl when they need it _is_ cool and that's what I wanted this fic to be about.

Thanks ya'll. I hope I can come back to this someday.


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